Social anxiety affects many

May 24--Linda Chism-Cobb hates going to the grocery store. The 56-year-old woman hangs onto her adult daughter's shirttail like a terrified toddler. Having to give a speech makes her break down into tears. Her knees shake. She feels faint.

Ms. Chism-Cobb missed her son's graduation because she couldn't handle the anxiety brought on by the crowded room. She fears what everyone thinks of her. Too many times she just wants to be part of the woodwork.

Ms. Chism-Cobb is a textbook example of someone who suffers from social anxiety disorder. Even though she may feel like it, she is far from alone. According to information on the webmd.com website, 19.2 million Americans suffer from an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations.

Behind depression and alcoholism, social anxiety is the third most common mental disorder in the United States. The disorder is more common in women than in men and usually surfaces in adolescence or early adulthood. But it can occur in early childhood or any time.

Ms. Chism-Cobb says symptoms started when she was a young child. Then everyone just thought she was bashful. It eventually got worse.

"When I was in junior high. I just always stayed to myself by the time I was in high school I completely alienated," she said.

Ms. Chism-Cobb isn't sure how she developed the disorder but thinks it was from her early childhood experiences. She was adopted at 18 months old, raised on a farm where she was alienated from other kids or any other adults. The only people she interacted with were her parents and grandparents.

School bullies sought her out on the playground. She says at home her mother dished out ridicule.

"My mother always told me you better get an education because you're too ugly for a man to ever want you," she says.

Ken West, a retired psychologist, dealt with social anxiety on both levels -- he's treated clients and dealt with the malady himself.

"The only treatment I have ever applied for any kind of phobia is desensitization where you expose yourself to the situation and gradually it tapers off," Mr. West says.

He got over most of his social anxiety when he began teaching a college psychology class.

"I found that I could learn to be pretty comfortable in front of a class and I tried to look at why is that different and I found two things. One of the things I found is I enjoy being in charge and another trick was to exaggerate my emotions," Mr. West says.

He says Facebook and other social media can help people with social anxiety. People can interact with others without the anxiety of face-to-face interaction.

But still Mr. West says he doesn't like small talk, crowds or even family gatherings.

"My sister has a big family and they have family get-togethers. They try to avoid inviting us because they know how uncomfortable I am in those settings. They think it's funny," Mr. West says.

A new mental health services organization called Joyable claims to effectively combat social anxiety. According to its website, the company offers online cognitive behavioral therapy treatment specifically for social anxiety. The site claims that 90 percent of its clients see a decline in social anxiety symptoms. The more Joyable activities they complete, the larger that decline is, according to the company.

Peter Shalek, Joyable chief executive officer, says the fledgling company's mission is to grow to be able to treat many other conditions, but it is starting with social anxiety treatment. The condition responds well to cognitive behavioral therapy, he says.

"It's more effective than medication and more effective than others forms of therapy," Mr. Shalek says in a recent article on The Atlantic magazine website.

And online cognitive behavioral therapy can be just as effective as it is if delivered through an in-person therapist, he says.

"I believe mental health is the single biggest waste of human potential in the developed world, and there's quite a bit of statistics, unfortunately, to back that up " Mr. Shalek says. "Our mission is to cure the world of anxiety and depression."

Ms. Chism-Cobb says Facebook helps her because she never sees people face to face. She believes that once she gets her degree in nursing it might help with her social anxiety, as well. It's about self-esteem.

"Once I get a degree and I feel like I'm equal with some of the other people in my mind, I don't feel that any people are smarter than me," she says.

Alonzo Weston can be reached at alonzo.weston@newspressnow.com. Follow him on Twitter: @SJNPWeston.

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